Starting down the divorce path can be daunting. It is normal to be fearful of the unknown and feel overwhelmed. You do not know what to expect, specifically concerning what will be required in terms of time and costs to go through the divorce process. It is also nerve-wracking to not know your financial future.
When fear sets in, you can become immobilized. Your ability to hear and understand information, digest it, and move forward is compromised. You can become almost paralyzed and unable to make decisions, which makes settlement almost impossible. The Collaborative Divorce process can help alleviate those fears.
How Collaborative Divorce Alleviates Fear
In a Collaborative Divorce, the spouses work together with a team of professionals. Each spouse has their own attorney and divorce coach, as well as working with a neutral financial professional.
The Collaborative team listens to your fears and concerns. The team wants to know what keeps you awake at two o’clock in the morning.
Once the fears are known and understood, the Collaborative team helps address the fears. The attorneys provide education about the law. The mental health profession (divorce coach) assists in understanding and overcoming the fear. The neutral financial specialist provides education on understanding your specific assets, debts, and income. The team works with you and your spouse to help create a vision for the future. This helps alleviate fears and builds confidence in what your post-divorce life will begin to look like.
Together, the professionals, attorneys, and spouses brainstorm how to create a settlement agreement that meets the needs and interests of all family members.
Decisions are then made from a place of calm and understanding as opposed to a place of anxiety. When there is an understanding of what triggers the fear, you can get to a place of informed decision-making.
Articles and resources from Julia Perkovich on collaborative divorce, mediation, and family law in Sacramento.