Going through a divorce is an emotional process. This is true even if both spouses agree a divorce is in their best interest. When one spouse wants a divorce and the other one does not, it can be even more wrenching. The Collaborative Divorce Process helps address the emotions in a health and constructive manner. How a Collaborative Divorce Can Ease Emotional Stress A [Read more...] about Divorce and Emotional Stress
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Divorce and Remarriage
People who remarry after a divorce certainly don’t want their new marriage to fail. They have hopes and dreams of how this marriage will be different. They know what didn’t work and are excited about new passion and possibilities. The couple is determined to not repeat the mistakes of the past and yet few people really take the time to know each other and have those conversations that can [Read more...] about Divorce and Remarriage
5 Tips to Argue Better
According to an article from Parents.com, there is a number of effective ways to help you “argue better.” We’ve consolidated it to 5 easy steps, which should always be utilized but more so when in the presence of children. Above all, consider your children and how they would be impacted. Avoid verbal and physical aggression or intense arguments which can be very upsetting and harmful for [Read more...] about 5 Tips to Argue Better
Argue Better For Your Kid’s Sake
Arguments are inevitable between parents. Arguments in front of children are also inevitable. Unfortunately, the stress of the pandemic has called for more arguments. Child specialist and parenting coach Beth Proudfoot notes that these arguments are not only attributed to the stress of the pandemic, but to political polarization, climate concerns, and of course the economy. Everyone around [Read more...] about Argue Better For Your Kid’s Sake
It’s Not About The Teapot
My client was deeply invested in keeping the teapot she and her husband had in their home for 25 years. She seriously wanted that old teapot. The collaborative team spent an hour at a 7-way financial meeting negotiating what she would give her husband in exchange for her keeping the teapot. At our debrief after the meeting, one of the attorneys was exasperated, asking “Why would anyone spend that [Read more...] about It’s Not About The Teapot
California Area Therapists to Lead Covid-19 Divorce Training
Marital separations and divorces continue to surge amid the Covid-19 pandemic. A group of Collaborative Divorce Coaches and Collaborative Child Specialists are sponsoring an upcoming virtual training for mental health professionals to further enhance their professional skills and services. The training will be presented through a virtual Zoom format on March 19, 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. The [Read more...] about California Area Therapists to Lead Covid-19 Divorce Training
What is a Collaborative Divorce and Who Does it Benefit?
While a divorce in California can be a long and complicated process, a collaborative divorce can make the process easier. A collaborative divorce involves a team of professionals who will advise and assist you and your spouse through the divorce process. Here’s how collaborative divorces work. What does the collaborative divorce process look like? For a collaborative divorce, both parties [Read more...] about What is a Collaborative Divorce and Who Does it Benefit?
What is The Role of a Divorce Mediator?
Administration One of the most important jobs of the mediator is to maintain order by establishing and enforcing procedural rules. The mediator controls the meetings so that everyone has time to speak, think and respond. The mediator also helps guide both spouses through the steps of the divorce and keeps you both apprised of the next steps. Information Your mediator will [Read more...] about What is The Role of a Divorce Mediator?
Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
January is Child Centered Divorce Awareness Month, so it is the ideal time to discuss how to tell your kids that you are getting a divorce. This is always a difficult thing to do but we have some recommendations to help you through this. Both Parents Should Meet Together with the Children Unless there are issues of domestic violence or child abuse, both parents [Read more...] about Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
Divorce With The Children In Mind
January is “Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month” Children are profoundly affected by their parents’ divorce, no matter how old they are or what the circumstances. And many children do act out and drop out. Others put on a brave face but are crushed on the inside and can’t ever trust that they themselves will have a “happily ever after.” No one starts a divorce with the intention of [Read more...] about Divorce With The Children In Mind
How to Have a Fun and Energized Holiday Season!
When you think of the holiday season, what three words come to mind? Are the words relaxed, rested and joyful mentioned? It really is possible to make this holiday season the best you’ve ever had. Choosing realistic goals with conscious planning will give you more time and energy than you ever dreamed of. Listed below are the three questions that I am most [Read more...] about How to Have a Fun and Energized Holiday Season!
A Deeper Look at the Mortgage Interest Deduction During Equity Buy Out
The Mortgage Interest Deduction May Be a Great Tax Planning tool as long as you understand what you are working with. Qualified Home In order to use the mortgage interest deduction, the mortgage must be secured by a Qualified Home: Main home. You can have only one main home at any one time. This is the home where you ordinarily live most of the time. Second home. A second [Read more...] about A Deeper Look at the Mortgage Interest Deduction During Equity Buy Out
Taking a ‘PAWS’: Issues To Consider With Pet Custody
The new year brought a lot of changes for divorcing couples in 2019, especially here in California. Not only were major changes made to the tax code concerning spousal support payments, residents across the state of California welcomed Assembly Bill 2274. This bill finally gave judges in our state clear direction when it came to helping divorcing pet owners answer the all-important question: Who [Read more...] about Taking a ‘PAWS’: Issues To Consider With Pet Custody
How Does California Calculate Child Support?
When parents’ divorce in California, both remain responsible for financially supporting their minor children. The state uses established guidelines to determine which parent should pay child support and the monthly payment amount. Learn about the factors that influence child support calculations in California. Net disposable income California courts first calculate each parent’s net [Read more...] about How Does California Calculate Child Support?
Choosing Additional Resources to Complete Your Team of Advisors
The intersection of divorce, real estate and mortgage financing is real. Apart from the importance of selecting a family law divorce attorney, the impact other members on the divorce team can have is important as well. A Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP) can bring a different perspective to your divorce team. With about 600 CDLP’s in the country, it is a well-trained and [Read more...] about Choosing Additional Resources to Complete Your Team of Advisors
Divorce and Social Security Benefits
Social security benefits provide older Americans with substantial financial support. Not every retired person in California receives a pension or has significant personal savings. Therefore, monthly social security deposits help single people and married couples alike. What happens after a divorce, though? Will it impact one’s social security [Read more...] about Divorce and Social Security Benefits
Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process
Couples going through a divorce generally already have a problem communicating. Those problems often get worse during this time with the upheaval of their lives and the change in the family structure. It is common to find that a couple’s main mode of communication with one another results in one of them getting angry and the other one giving their partner the silent treatment. This is then [Read more...] about Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process
Four Tips for Starting your California Divorce
2020 is shaping up to be a popular year for divorce filings in California. If you are among those considering parting ways with your spouse, read on for four tips for starting your divorce. 1. Research and decide how you want to complete the divorce: There are many ways to complete a divorce. You can opt for doing [Read more...] about Four Tips for Starting your California Divorce
Our Divorce Mediation Didn’t Work Out. Where Do We Go From Here?
Many couples begin the divorce process in mediation. Mediation can be a great option for couples who are still able to work together to make agreements regarding their children, finances, and property. For others mediation might start off well but over time the couple is no longer able to make agreements and need more support to move forward. Where do we go from [Read more...] about Our Divorce Mediation Didn’t Work Out. Where Do We Go From Here?
How has COVID-19 Impacted Divorce in Sacramento?
We are over four months into the COVID-19 pandemic. It is impacting families in many ways. Some are affected more than others, but everyone is affected in some way. In the family law context, I see a variety of different issues that are coming up related to these new times that we find ourselves in. Some families need to modify their timeshare arrangement with their children and [Read more...] about How has COVID-19 Impacted Divorce in Sacramento?
8 Best Practices in Custody Cases During COVID-19
Navigating through a divorce and the custody and co-parenting issues during COVID-19 can add another layer of stress and anxiety for the family. As parents, we all want to model the best version of ourselves to our children, but how do we do that? Sacramento County Superior Court and many of the other surrounding counties have adopted Best Practice Recommendations for custody [Read more...] about 8 Best Practices in Custody Cases During COVID-19
Divorce: Fear and Change
Filing for divorce is a stressful time. You are putting everything on the line to separate from someone and start a new life. The mere thought of change can paralyze even the bravest among us. Change represents a loss of something familiar and an introduction to something new. You may find yourself fearful of the uncertainty in moving ahead. You are not [Read more...] about Divorce: Fear and Change
Pet Custody During a Collaborative Divorce and How to Handle
During the shelter in place requirements we have all been spending a bit more time with our beloved pet or pets. We see how much light they bring to our days and it raises the question of how we deal with pet custody in a divorce. Not long ago, pets were considered simply property to be divided incident to the divorce. When deciding with whom the pet should live courts would take into [Read more...] about Pet Custody During a Collaborative Divorce and How to Handle
Can a Divorce be Friendly?
For most people, friendly is not the first term that comes to mind when thinking about divorce. However, there are many benefits to keeping friendliness an option when deciding how to handle the process of divorce. Collaborative divorces are completed outside of the courthouse and center on the idea of remaining friendly during the divorce and afterward. 1. Friendly divorce can save you [Read more...] about Can a Divorce be Friendly?
Children of Divorce in The Time of COVID-19
At this time, many children are suffering from the anxiety-producing effects of the invisible COVID-19 virus. I would say many children are also suffering from the anxiety-producing effects of the invisible “virus” of parental conflict related to divorce, custody evaluations, destructive parental emotions and the world of litigation. When there is a high degree of conflict between [Read more...] about Children of Divorce in The Time of COVID-19
Understanding Spousal Support in California
When two parties separate, there is often a disparity in the financial resources, income and/or earning abilities. Thus, there is frequently a need for shifting of financial resources, at least on a temporary basis. Defining Spousal Support Spousal support is a regularly scheduled payment made by one party to assist with the financial needs of the other party. It is separate and distinct [Read more...] about Understanding Spousal Support in California
What are the Costs of Divorce?
One question a family law attorney hears on a regular basis is, “What does a divorce in California cost?” There is no one answer to this question, as the costs of divorce include emotional, financial, and property related issues. 1. Emotional Costs of Divorce The emotional costs of divorce are many, and for plenty [Read more...] about What are the Costs of Divorce?
We Want a Divorce….What Do We Do Now?
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought life to a major slowdown if not a screeching halt. If you contemplated divorce pre-pandemic, four weeks of sheltering in place with your mate may have convinced you divorce is inevitable. With the California Courts closed, a once unclear path is now, even more confusing. We may not know when the court will reopen, but we can be sure it will take some [Read more...] about We Want a Divorce….What Do We Do Now?
The Coronavirus Pandemic and Divorce: What You Need to Know
The Coronavirus or COVID-19 has had a tremendous impact on people’s lives and created a great deal of upheaval for so many. But what about people whose lives are already in upheaval because of divorce? The impact varies depending on the type of divorce process. Litigated Process Sacramento County Courts are closed through at least April 16, 2020 for all [Read more...] about The Coronavirus Pandemic and Divorce: What You Need to Know
Buying a New Home When Tied to The Mortgage on The Marital Home
One of the main concerns, when one party is retaining the marital home, is that the vacating or out spouse will not be able to qualify for future mortgage financing while their name remains tied to the current mortgage. This isn’t necessarily so, and we can help our divorcing clients with this issue with the correct verbiage contained in the final divorce settlement agreement. When a [Read more...] about Buying a New Home When Tied to The Mortgage on The Marital Home
Gray Divorce and the Benefits of Collaboration
A gray divorce refers to couples who decide to part ways over the age of 50, generally following a long-term marriage. There are myriad reasons for a gray divorce, including an empty nest, financial disagreements, or disagreements about what you’d like to do in retirement. Whatever the reason, you want to know how to get through the process quickly and with your dignity intact. You may [Read more...] about Gray Divorce and the Benefits of Collaboration
Co-Parenting the Do’s and Don’ts
Co-parenting during and after divorce or separation can be fraught with peril. Even Netflix’s A Marriage Story illuminated in authentically painful detail what not do to when navigating the minefield of co-parenting. However, this minefield can largely be avoided with the child mostly sheltered from emotional harm, by following some simple, yet extremely effective guidelines. After more [Read more...] about Co-Parenting the Do’s and Don’ts
Three Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Hire the Attorneys from “A Marriage Story”
Warning: This blog contains spoilers about A Marriage Story When you think of a divorce attorney do the words pitbull, bulldog, or shark come to mind? Is spending all of the community money on legal fees your idea of a successful divorce? 1. The concept of “winning” in divorce: Laura Dern and Ray Liotta portray two of the divorce attorneys in A Marriage Story. Much of their [Read more...] about Three Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Hire the Attorneys from “A Marriage Story”
What Are My Housing Options When In Divorce Proceedings?
They say there are 3 necessities in life: food, shelter and clothing. Food and clothing are pretty much a given but when going through a divorce determining where you are going to live and how much that will cost can be very stressful. One of the first discussions in the divorce process should be around this. Quite often once this is agreed upon other portions of the settlement agreement can fall [Read more...] about What Are My Housing Options When In Divorce Proceedings?
Marriage Story: An Attorney’s Perspective
As someone who works directly with the process of divorce, I looked forward to seeing Netflix’s Marriage Story. Director Noah Baumbach’s film centers on the divorce of couple Nicole (Scarlett Johansen) and Charlie (Adam Driver), as well as the effect divorce has on their son Henry (Azhy Robertson). I was greatly moved by the film. While not every part of the movie was realistic, its ability to [Read more...] about Marriage Story: An Attorney’s Perspective
Five Financial Impacts to consider in a Divorce
Going through a divorce is a very stressful process, if you do not know what to expect going into it. It is important to know the impacts a divorce can have on your finances when considering a divorce. Here are Five Financial Impacts to consider in a Divorce SupportThe court will review financials and determine what support needs to be paid to which party. When children are involved, the [Read more...] about Five Financial Impacts to consider in a Divorce
How long does it take to divorce in California?
This is highly case dependent, but the shortest possible time to complete a divorce in California is six months plus one day. Although six months is the earliest time you can be restored to the status of single, many divorces take much longer. The good news is that there are ways to make the process move quickly so that the divorce is finished as close to the six-month minimum as possible. [Read more...] about How long does it take to divorce in California?
How does the Collaborative Divorce process help parents in California?
Even after divorce, parents can rarely sever all ties to the other parent. As co-parents they often have many years left to work together raising their children. This requires extensive communication, a willingness to make decisions together, and the grace to come to shared events for their children. With this in mind, it can be beneficial for parents to consider peacefully ending their [Read more...] about How does the Collaborative Divorce process help parents in California?
Is it possible to have a truly respectful divorce?
Divorce can be a highly emotional and expensive process. California and other states offer collaborative divorce as a less adversarial option than a traditional divorce. In collaborative divorce the parties work with attorneys and other professionals outside of a courtroom to resolve their issues. As part of the collaborative divorce process, each spouse works with his or her respective [Read more...] about Is it possible to have a truly respectful divorce?
Domestic Partners in California – Now Open to Nearly All
Beginning January 1, 2020 California’s Registered Domestic Partnership law allows a whole new cohort of people to register with the Secretary of State. Senate Bill 30 states that effective January 1, 2020 all couples regardless of age or sexual orientation that are eligible to be married may register with the California Secretary of State as domestic partners. What part of the law has [Read more...] about Domestic Partners in California – Now Open to Nearly All
Collaborative Divorce: Divorce Without Destruction
If you have gone through a divorce, or if you have been there for a divorcing friend or family member, you know it can be stressful, expensive, and even destructive. Traditional litigated divorce is an adversarial system designed to pit spouses against one another, increasing fear, distrust, and animosity. It frequently leaves important decisions up to a judge, and not to the parties [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce: Divorce Without Destruction
Frequently Asked Questions about Mortgages during the divorce process
What is a CDLP? A CDLP is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional who brings the financial knowledge and expertise of a solid understanding of the connection between Divorce and Family Law, IRS Tax Rules and mortgage financing strategies as they relate to real estate and divorce. A loan officer must pass the CDLP program to receive this unique designation. A CDLP cannot charge you more fees [Read more...] about Frequently Asked Questions about Mortgages during the divorce process
The Value of a Collaborative Divorce: Priceless!
A collaborative divorce may save money over a litigated divorce, but they can still be costly from a monetary standpoint. However, the Collaborative Divorce's value extends far beyond the financial cost. Here are the values and benefits of a Collaborative Divorce process to consider: A divorce centered around the common values of their family. The clients decide what is important and the team [Read more...] about The Value of a Collaborative Divorce: Priceless!
How Do I Survive the Pain of Divorce
Divorcing people frequently ask me when they will stop feeling like they have failed—their children, their families, their spouse, themselves. Divorce happens—sometimes even when we have done our very best and tried everything we know. The loss hurts and is heartbreaking. But you can survive it and come through on the other side. Here are 3 things to consider: Be Informed At this stage, you [Read more...] about How Do I Survive the Pain of Divorce
Interview: How to have a Nice Divorce
Divorce can be hard, but it doesn't have to be messy. Hal Bartholomew is an attorney who advocates for "collaborative divorce." The "collaborative" approach involves everyone having an attorney, a therapist and a financial consultant. View the Video Interview [Read more...] about Interview: How to have a Nice Divorce
Divorcing Couples Can Collaborate
Thursday, December 22, 2016 Ed Goldman, Columnist Sacramento Business Journal Dec 21, 2016, 8:30am PST Hal Bartholomew thinks divorcing couples can collaborate While Hal D. Bartholomew doesn’t really remind me of Joan Rivers (for one, he’s a lot taller; for another, he’s alive) his professional mantra evokes the late comedian’s most famous intro: “Can we talk?” Bartholomew is the [Read more...] about Divorcing Couples Can Collaborate
Can You Stop a Divorce Once its Started?
Contrary to what many people think, filing for divorce does not automatically end a marriage. While starting the divorce process with the Court helps people move forward, the fact is that becoming unmarried does not happen overnight. In California, the waiting period to become unmarried is six months. The six month clock starts ticking when a spouse is served with the petition and [Read more...] about Can You Stop a Divorce Once its Started?
Collaboration, Cooperation and Communication during Divorce
There are a number of difficult decisions that need to be made during dissolution of marriage, from child support to property division. After the decision to divorce is made (In California – it only takes one party), the next important decision to be made involves the type of divorce process you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse will use. The traditional choice is the [Read more...] about Collaboration, Cooperation and Communication during Divorce
Collaboration can Help Secure Good Solutions for Bad Situations
When people get married, they typically don’t expect to get divorced. They don’t expect that they’ll fall out of love with their spouse or become so bitter and angry that they can’t even be in the same room as the other person. And they don’t expect that they might do or say things they would later regret. During a divorce, good people can make some bad decisions. However, the fact that you [Read more...] about Collaboration can Help Secure Good Solutions for Bad Situations
9 Things to Avoid During the Process of Divorce
1.Hiding Information Your attorney will be your advocate through this emotional process. It is important you disclose any and all information, no matter how embarrassing or personal it may seem. 2.Negative Activity on Social Media Today we use social media to update friends and family on our daily lives, however remember to use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram wisely. Don’t post anything that [Read more...] about 9 Things to Avoid During the Process of Divorce
Is There a Right Way to Divorce?
It seems like everywhere we look, we are being told that there is a right way to do something and a wrong way to do something. For instance, stories about divorce are more available than ever. We read about dramatic celebrity divorces ending in multi-million dollar settlements, the quiet, amicable divorce of two strangers who took a picture that went viral and everything in between. And for [Read more...] about Is There a Right Way to Divorce?
5 Insane But True Facts about High Conflict Divorce
from The Huffington Post, published 03/05/2016 Elizabeth Esrey Mediator, Conflict Resolution Specialist and Coach 1. High Conflict Divorce is expensive. The cost of litigating divorce has always been high even with cheaper alternatives, such as mediation and collaborative law, on the rise. Still, litigating a high conflict divorce is expensive. According to an Associated Press article, [Read more...] about 5 Insane But True Facts about High Conflict Divorce
Understanding Child Support with the Help of a Sacramento-Area Divorce Lawyer
Divorce is always a delicate subject, especially when there are children involved. No matter how amicable and well-intentioned the separation may be, striking a parenting balance that is in the best interests of the children and maintains their relationships with both parents should be approached carefully and purposefully. “Best Interests” This is a difficult time for everyone including the [Read more...] about Understanding Child Support with the Help of a Sacramento-Area Divorce Lawyer
Understanding Child Support Laws of Sacramento County in California
When a family unit breaks down and two partners are no longer on the same page, the most affected party is always the children. Children are too young to fend for themselves so certain laws have been put into place in order to ensure their welfare even when mom and dad are at odds with each other. Defining Child Support In simple terms, child support is a continuous scheduled payment made by [Read more...] about Understanding Child Support Laws of Sacramento County in California
Tips from a Divorce Lawyer: How to Make Your Divorce Case A Success
Unfortunately, not all marriages last a lifetime, as differences between spouses may become irreconcilable. When a marriage is going south, one the options that a couple has is divorce. However, getting a divorce is a life changing event and should only be used as a last resort. Should You Get A Divorce? Before considering divorce, you have to realize that it is just one of the options, not [Read more...] about Tips from a Divorce Lawyer: How to Make Your Divorce Case A Success
Knowing The Different Details on How to File for Divorce in Sacramento
In Sacramento County, terminating a marriage or partnership may be done in a number of ways. Sacramento divorce solutions include divorce, dissolution of domestic partnership, legal separation, and nullity. In a divorce case, the marriage is terminated and such matters as child custody, visitation rights, child support, and asset division, are also resolved. Dissolution of partnership is [Read more...] about Knowing The Different Details on How to File for Divorce in Sacramento
Post-Divorce Essential Estate Planning Checklist
After a divorce/dissolution is complete, there are a number of extremely important financial housekeeping items that must be addressed. One of those items that often gets overlooked or put off is revising one’s estate planning documents. The following is a list of those documents and issues which must be addressed, post divorce to ensure that the individual and their family is protected from the [Read more...] about Post-Divorce Essential Estate Planning Checklist