The first holiday season after a separation or divorce can be difficult and challenging. Powerful memories can be stirred up about the advantages of the traditional two-parent household. It can also be a time for creativity by establishing new traditions for your household and getting the kids involved. Keeping the Status Quo: If you and the other parent want to attend holiday celebrations [Read more...] about Celebrating The Holidays After Divorce With 5 Parenting Tips For Sanity
Going through a divorce is stressful and upsetting on many levels. One or both spouses may experience periods of time when they think to themselves, "I hope I never see that person again!" That is not realistic expectation for divorcing spouses who have children together. There are reasons why an amicable divorce makes sense to preserve your relationship with your co-parent as you [Read more...] about Preserving Relationships after Divorce
The term vetting has become commonplace in today's political and business world. But what does vetting mean, and how does it fit into divorce mortgage planning? Vetting means conducting a thorough and diligent review of a person, document, property, investment, or solution. In a divorce setting, vetting the professional divorce team is a critical step to make sure they will not only [Read more...] about What is the Vetting Process in Divorce Mortgage Planning?
When parents’ divorce, their children are affected, even children who are no longer “children”. Today there are families experiencing divorce after 25, 35, 45 years of marriage. Not only are adult children involved, but there may be grandchildren facing these transitions as well. Every family is different and children’s thoughts and feelings about their parent’s or [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce: Adult Child Specialist
Your divorce separates you from your spouse in most ways. But if you have children, you are still bound together as parents. Parenting, and especially co-parenting, is a daunting task whether married or apart. But in most cases taking the tension out of the marital relationship allows for a new parent partnership to form. From Marriage Partners to Parenting Partners Some people find [Read more...] about Divorce Misconception: Married Parents are Better Parents than Divorced Parents
The divorce coach can make a major difference in a Collaborative Divorce. With the assistance of a divorce coach, couples work together to come up with solutions that help keep them out of the court and prevent unnecessary litigation. Working With a Divorce Coach In California, divorce coaches are used in a Collaborative Divorce. It can be just as important to handle the emotional [Read more...] about What is the Role of a Divorce Coach in a Collaborative Case?
Fear is extremely normal and present in almost all situations with divorcing couples. It also can be one of the primary obstacles to a peaceful, efficient resolution in a divorce case. The early stages of separation or divorce are the hardest and scariest because people have had their world shaken, especially the person who didn't decide to end the relationship. There is a lot of [Read more...] about Managing Fears During Divorce
There are many reasons someone would want to stay out of court in their divorce case. 1. Being in control of your divorce process You have more flexibility and creativity with settlement options to get each person the most of what's important to them. The best divorce solutions for people are ones that they come up with on their own. In court, the judge makes the decision for you. [Read more...] about Why Should Someone Want To Stay Out of Court In Their Divorce Case?
Research has shown that out of 49 life events, divorce is the second most stressful experience of a person’s life. The only thing more stressful is the death of a spouse. Getting the right support while in the divorce process is crucial to a person’s mental health and the ability to make good decisions. Help from a Licensed Mental Health Professional Going through the divorce [Read more...] about Managing Mental Health During Divorce
The divorce process is often painted as contentious, dramatic, and painful. And while there are certainly divorces that look like this, it does not have to be this way. In fact, most people in California can avoid the worse parts of the divorce process by opting for alternatives to litigation like mediation and collaborative divorce. These options can be beneficial for several [Read more...] about The Many Benefits of Settling a Divorce Outside The Courtroom
Starting down the divorce path can be daunting. It is normal to be fearful of the unknown and feel overwhelmed. You do not know what to expect, specifically concerning what will be required in terms of time and costs to go through the divorce process. It is also nerve-wracking to not know your financial future. When fear sets in, you can become immobilized. Your ability to hear and [Read more...] about How To Deal with the Fear in a Divorce Case
If you have a Will, you are eliminating many complexities about your wishes for your estate. Creating a Will can legally protect your partner or spouse, children and assets. It also gives you the chance to customize a plan of asset distribution once you have passed. Here are two big reasons why it is important to have a Will versus not having one. 1. You Select Your Personal [Read more...] about Why Is It Important to Have a Will?
Going through a divorce is an emotional process. This is true even if both spouses agree a divorce is in their best interest. When one spouse wants a divorce and the other one does not, it can be even more wrenching. The Collaborative Divorce Process helps address the emotions in a health and constructive manner. How a Collaborative Divorce Can Ease Emotional Stress A [Read more...] about Divorce and Emotional Stress
People who remarry after a divorce certainly don’t want their new marriage to fail. They have hopes and dreams of how this marriage will be different. They know what didn’t work and are excited about new passion and possibilities. The couple is determined to not repeat the mistakes of the past and yet few people really take the time to know each other and have those conversations that can [Read more...] about Divorce and Remarriage
According to an article from Parents.com, there is a number of effective ways to help you “argue better.” We’ve consolidated it to 5 easy steps, which should always be utilized but more so when in the presence of children. Breath. Being consciously aware of your breathing can help control your ability to stay calm and control your emotions. We all know emotions can get the best of us. Taking [Read more...] about 5 Tips to Argue Better
Arguments are inevitable between parents. Arguments in front of children are also inevitable. Unfortunately, the stress of the pandemic has called for more arguments. Child specialist and parenting coach Beth Proudfoot notes that these arguments are not only attributed to the stress of the pandemic, but to political polarization, climate concerns, and of course the economy. Everyone around [Read more...] about Argue Better For Your Kid’s Sake
My client was deeply invested in keeping the teapot she and her husband had in their home for 25 years. She seriously wanted that old teapot. The collaborative team spent an hour at a 7-way financial meeting negotiating what she would give her husband in exchange for her keeping the teapot. At our debrief after the meeting, one of the attorneys was exasperated, asking “Why would anyone spend that [Read more...] about It’s Not About The Teapot
Marital separations and divorces continue to surge amid the COVID-19 pandemic. A group of Collaborative Divorce Coaches and Collaborative Child Specialists are sponsoring an upcoming virtual training for mental health professionals to further enhance their professional skills and services. The training will be presented through a virtual Zoom format on March 19, 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 [Read more...] about California Area Therapists to Lead COVID-19 Divorce Training
While a divorce in California can be a long and complicated process, a collaborative divorce can make the process easier. A collaborative divorce involves a team of professionals who will advise and assist you and your spouse through the divorce process. Here’s how collaborative divorces work. What does the collaborative divorce process look like? For a collaborative divorce, both parties [Read more...] about What is a Collaborative Divorce and Who Does it Benefit?
Looking for a less adversarial way to complete your divorce? Mediation might be the path for you and your spouse. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party who will help you and your spouse through the divorce process without having to turn to the court system. Choosing a mediator is often the first gesture of mutual trust divorcing couples make. While the mediator does not [Read more...] about What is The Role of a Divorce Mediator?
January is Child Centered Divorce Awareness Month, so it is the ideal time to discuss how to tell your kids that you are getting a divorce. This is always a difficult thing to do but we have some recommendations to help you through this. Both Parents Should Meet Together with the Children Unless there are issues of domestic violence or child abuse, both parents should meet together [Read more...] about Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
January is “Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month” Children are profoundly affected by their parents’ divorce, no matter how old they are or what the circumstances. And many children do act out and drop out. Others put on a brave face but are crushed on the inside and can’t ever trust that they themselves will have a “happily ever after.” No one starts a divorce with the intention of [Read more...] about Divorce With The Children In Mind
When you think of the holiday season, what three words come to mind? Are the words relaxed, rested and joyful mentioned? It really is possible to make this holiday season the best you’ve ever had. Choosing realistic goals with conscious planning will give you more time and energy than you ever dreamed of. Listed below are the three questions that I am most [Read more...] about How to Have a Fun and Energized Holiday Season!
The Mortgage Interest Deduction May Be a Great Tax Planning tool as long as you understand what you are working with. Qualified Home In order to use the mortgage interest deduction, the mortgage must be secured by a Qualified Home: Main home. You can have only one main home at any one time. This is the home where you ordinarily live most of the time. Second home. A second [Read more...] about A Deeper Look at the Mortgage Interest Deduction During Equity Buy Out
The new year brought a lot of changes for divorcing couples in 2019, especially here in California. Not only were major changes made to the tax code concerning spousal support payments, residents across the state of California welcomed Assembly Bill 2274. This bill finally gave judges in our state clear direction when it came to helping divorcing pet owners answer the all-important question: Who [Read more...] about Taking a ‘PAWS’: Issues To Consider With Pet Custody
When parents’ divorce in California, both remain responsible for financially supporting their minor children. The state uses established guidelines to determine which parent should pay child support and the monthly payment amount. Learn about the factors that influence child support calculations in California. Net disposable income California courts first calculate each parent’s net [Read more...] about How Does California Calculate Child Support?
The intersection of divorce, real estate and mortgage financing is real. Apart from the importance of selecting a family law divorce attorney, the impact other members on the divorce team can have is important as well. A Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP) can bring a different perspective to your divorce team. With about 600 CDLP’s in the country, it is a well-trained and [Read more...] about Choosing Additional Resources to Complete Your Team of Advisors
Social security benefits provide older Americans with substantial financial support. Not every retired person in California receives a pension or has significant personal savings. Therefore, monthly social security deposits help single people and married couples alike. What happens after a divorce, though? Will it impact one’s social security benefits? A person can [Read more...] about Divorce and Social Security Benefits
Couples going through a divorce generally already have a problem communicating. Those problems often get worse during this time with the upheaval of their lives and the change in the family structure. It is common to find that a couple’s main mode of communication with one another results in one of them getting angry and the other one giving their partner the silent treatment. This is then [Read more...] about Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process
2020 is shaping up to be a popular year for divorce filings in California. If you are among those considering parting ways with your spouse, read on for four tips for starting your divorce. 1. Research and decide how you want to complete the divorce: There are many ways to complete a divorce. You can opt for doing [Read more...] about Four Tips for Starting your California Divorce
Many couples begin the divorce process in mediation. Mediation can be a great option for couples who are still able to work together to make agreements regarding their children, finances, and property. For others mediation might start off well but over time the couple is no longer able to make agreements and need more support to move forward. Where do we go from [Read more...] about Our Divorce Mediation Didn’t Work Out. Where Do We Go From Here?
We are over four months into the COVID-19 pandemic. It is impacting families in many ways. Some are affected more than others, but everyone is affected in some way. In the family law context, I see a variety of different issues that are coming up related to these new times that we find ourselves in. Some families need to modify their timeshare arrangement with their children and [Read more...] about How has COVID-19 Impacted Divorce in Sacramento?
Navigating through a divorce and the custody and co-parenting issues during COVID-19 can add another layer of stress and anxiety for the family. As parents, we all want to model the best version of ourselves to our children, but how do we do that? Sacramento County Superior Court and many of the other surrounding counties have adopted Best Practice Recommendations for custody cases [Read more...] about 8 Best Practices in Custody Cases During COVID-19
Filing for divorce is a stressful time. You are putting everything on the line to separate from someone and start a new life. The mere thought of change can paralyze even the bravest among us. Change represents a loss of something familiar and an introduction to something new. You may find yourself fearful of the uncertainty in moving ahead. You are not [Read more...] about Divorce: Fear and Change
During the shelter in place requirements we have all been spending a bit more time with our beloved pet or pets. We see how much light they bring to our days and it raises the question of how we deal with pet custody in a divorce. Not long ago, pets were considered simply property to be divided incident to the divorce. When deciding with whom the pet should live courts would take into [Read more...] about Pet Custody During a Collaborative Divorce and How to Handle
For most people, friendly is not the first term that comes to mind when thinking about divorce. However, there are many benefits to keeping friendliness an option when deciding how to handle the process of divorce. Collaborative divorces are completed outside of the courthouse and center on the idea of remaining friendly during the divorce and afterward. 1. Friendly divorce can save you [Read more...] about Can a Divorce be Friendly?
At this time, many children are suffering from the anxiety-producing effects of the invisible COVID-19 virus. I would say many children are also suffering from the anxiety-producing effects of the invisible “virus” of parental conflict related to divorce, custody evaluations, destructive parental emotions and the world of litigation. When there is a high degree of conflict between [Read more...] about Children of Divorce in The Time of COVID-19
When two parties separate, there is often a disparity in the financial resources, income and/or earning abilities. Thus, there is frequently a need for shifting of financial resources, at least on a temporary basis. Defining Spousal Support Spousal support is a regularly scheduled payment made by one party to assist with the financial needs of the other party. It is separate and distinct [Read more...] about Understanding Spousal Support in California
One question a family law attorney hears on a regular basis is, “What does a divorce in California cost?” There is no one answer to this question, as the costs of divorce include emotional, financial, and property related issues. 1. Emotional Costs of Divorce The emotional costs of divorce are many, and for plenty [Read more...] about What are the Costs of Divorce?
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought life to a major slowdown if not a screeching halt. If you contemplated divorce pre-pandemic, four weeks of sheltering in place with your mate may have convinced you divorce is inevitable. With the California Courts closed, a once unclear path is now, even more confusing. We may not know when the court will reopen, but we can be sure it will take some [Read more...] about We Want a Divorce… What Do We Do Now?
The Coronavirus or COVID-19 has had a tremendous impact on people’s lives and created a great deal of upheaval for so many. But what about people whose lives are already in upheaval because of divorce? The impact varies depending on the type of divorce process. Litigated Process Sacramento County Courts are closed through at least April 16, 2020 for all [Read more...] about The Coronavirus Pandemic and Divorce: What You Need to Know
One of the main concerns, when one party is retaining the marital home, is that the vacating or out spouse will not be able to qualify for future mortgage financing while their name remains tied to the current mortgage. This isn’t necessarily so, and we can help our divorcing clients with this issue with the correct verbiage contained in the final divorce settlement agreement. When a [Read more...] about Buying a New Home When Tied to The Mortgage on The Marital Home
A gray divorce refers to couples who decide to part ways over the age of 50, generally following a long-term marriage. There are myriad reasons for a gray divorce, including an empty nest, financial disagreements, or disagreements about what you’d like to do in retirement. Whatever the reason, you want to know how to get through the process quickly and with your dignity intact. You may [Read more...] about Gray Divorce and the Benefits of Collaboration
Co-parenting during and after divorce or separation can be fraught with peril. Even Netflix’s A Marriage Story illuminated in authentically painful detail what not do to when navigating the minefield of co-parenting. However, this minefield can largely be avoided with the child mostly sheltered from emotional harm, by following some simple, yet extremely effective guidelines. After more [Read more...] about Co-Parenting the Do’s and Don’ts
Warning: This blog contains spoilers about A Marriage Story When you think of a divorce attorney do the words pitbull, bulldog, or shark come to mind? Is spending all of the community money on legal fees your idea of a successful divorce? 1. The concept of “winning” in divorce: Laura Dern and Ray Liotta portray two of the divorce attorneys in A Marriage Story. Much of their [Read more...] about Three Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Hire the Attorneys from “A Marriage Story”
They say there are 3 necessities in life: food, shelter and clothing. Food and clothing are pretty much a given but when going through a divorce determining where you are going to live and how much that will cost can be very stressful. One of the first discussions in the divorce process should be around this. Quite often once this is agreed upon other portions of the settlement agreement can fall [Read more...] about What Are My Housing Options When In Divorce Proceedings?
As someone who works directly with the process of divorce, I looked forward to seeing Netflix’s Marriage Story. Director Noah Baumbach’s film centers on the divorce of couple Nicole (Scarlett Johansen) and Charlie (Adam Driver), as well as the effect divorce has on their son Henry (Azhy Robertson). I was greatly moved by the film. While not every part of the movie was realistic, its [Read more...] about Marriage Story: An Attorney’s Perspective
Going through a divorce is a very stressful process, if you do not know what to expect going into it. It is important to know the impacts a divorce can have on your finances when considering a divorce. Here are Five Financial Impacts to consider in a Divorce SupportThe court will review financials and determine what support needs to be paid to which party. When children are [Read more...] about Five Financial Impacts to consider in a Divorce
This is highly case dependent, but the shortest possible time to complete a divorce in California is six months plus one day. Although six months is the earliest time you can be restored to the status of single, many divorces take much longer. The good news is that there are ways to make the process move quickly so that the divorce is finished as close to the six-month minimum as possible. [Read more...] about How long does it take to divorce in California?
Even after divorce, parents can rarely sever all ties to the other parent. As co-parents they often have many years left to work together raising their children. This requires extensive communication, a willingness to make decisions together, and the grace to come to shared events for their children. With this in mind, it can be beneficial for parents to consider peacefully ending their [Read more...] about How does the Collaborative Divorce process help parents in California?
Divorce can be a highly emotional and expensive process. California and other states offer collaborative divorce as a less adversarial option than a traditional divorce. In collaborative divorce the parties work with attorneys and other professionals outside of a courtroom to resolve their issues. As part of the collaborative divorce process, each spouse works with his or her respective [Read more...] about Is it possible to have a truly respectful divorce?
Beginning January 1, 2020 California’s Registered Domestic Partnership law allows a whole new cohort of people to register with the Secretary of State. Senate Bill 30 states that effective January 1, 2020 all couples regardless of age or sexual orientation that are eligible to be married may register with the California Secretary of State as domestic partners. What part of the law has [Read more...] about Domestic Partners in California – Now Open to Nearly All
If you have gone through a divorce, or if you have been there for a divorcing friend or family member, you know it can be stressful, expensive, and even destructive. Traditional litigated divorce is an adversarial system designed to pit spouses against one another, increasing fear, distrust, and animosity. It frequently leaves important decisions up to a judge, and not to the parties [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce: Divorce Without Destruction
What is a CDLP? A CDLP is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional who brings the financial knowledge and expertise of a solid understanding of the connection between Divorce and Family Law, IRS Tax Rules and mortgage financing strategies as they relate to real estate and divorce. A loan officer must pass the CDLP program to receive this unique designation. A CDLP cannot charge you more fees [Read more...] about Frequently Asked Questions about Mortgages during the divorce process
A collaborative divorce may save money over a litigated divorce, but they can still be costly from a monetary standpoint. However, the Collaborative Divorce’s value extends far beyond the financial cost. Here are the values and benefits of a Collaborative Divorce process to consider: A divorce centered around the common values of their family. The clients decide what is [Read more...] about The Value of a Collaborative Divorce: Priceless!
Divorcing people frequently ask me when they will stop feeling like they have failed—their children, their families, their spouse, themselves. Divorce happens—sometimes even when we have done our very best and tried everything we know. The loss hurts and is heartbreaking. But you can survive it and come through on the other side. Here are 3 things to consider: Be Informed At this stage, you [Read more...] about How Do I Survive the Pain of Divorce
Divorce can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be messy. Hal Bartholomew is an attorney who advocates for “collaborative divorce.” The “collaborative” approach involves everyone having an attorney, a therapist and a financial consultant. View the Video Interview [Read more...] about Interview: How to have a Nice Divorce
Thursday, December 22, 2016 Ed Goldman, Columnist Sacramento Business Journal Dec 21, 2016, 8:30am PST Hal Bartholomew thinks divorcing couples can collaborate While Hal D. Bartholomew doesn’t really remind me of Joan Rivers (for one, he’s a lot taller; for another, he’s alive) his professional mantra evokes the late comedian’s most famous intro: “Can we talk?” Bartholomew is the [Read more...] about Divorcing Couples Can Collaborate
Contrary to what many people think, filing for divorce does not automatically end a marriage. While starting the divorce process with the Court helps people move forward, the fact is that becoming unmarried does not happen overnight. In California, the waiting period to become unmarried is six months. The six month clock starts ticking when a spouse is served with the petition and [Read more...] about Can You Stop a Divorce Once its Started?
There are a number of difficult decisions that need to be made during dissolution of marriage, from child support to property division. After the decision to divorce is made (In California – it only takes one party), the next important decision to be made involves the type of divorce process you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse will use. The traditional choice is the [Read more...] about Collaboration, Cooperation and Communication during Divorce
When people get married, they typically don’t expect to get divorced. They don’t expect that they’ll fall out of love with their spouse or become so bitter and angry that they can’t even be in the same room as the other person. And they don’t expect that they might do or say things they would later regret. During a divorce, good people can make some bad decisions. However, the fact that you [Read more...] about Collaboration can Help Secure Good Solutions for Bad Situations
1. Hiding Information Your attorney will be your advocate through this emotional process. It is important you disclose any and all information, no matter how embarrassing or personal it may seem. 2. Negative Activity on Social Media Today we use social media to update friends and family on our daily lives, however remember to use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram wisely. Don’t post [Read more...] about 9 Things to Avoid During the Process of Divorce
It seems like everywhere we look, we are being told that there is a right way to do something and a wrong way to do something. For instance, stories about divorce are more available than ever. We read about dramatic celebrity divorces ending in multi-million dollar settlements, the quiet, amicable divorce of two strangers who took a picture that went viral and everything in between. And for [Read more...] about Is There a Right Way to Divorce?
from The Huffington Post, published 03/05/2016 Elizabeth Esrey Mediator, Conflict Resolution Specialist and Coach 1. High Conflict Divorce is expensive. The cost of litigating divorce has always been high even with cheaper alternatives, such as mediation and collaborative law, on the rise. Still, litigating a high conflict divorce is expensive. According to an Associated Press [Read more...] about 5 Insane But True Facts about High Conflict Divorce
Divorce is always a delicate subject, especially when there are children involved. No matter how amicable and well-intentioned the separation may be, striking a parenting balance that is in the best interests of the children and maintains their relationships with both parents should be approached carefully and purposefully. “Best Interests” This is a difficult time for everyone [Read more...] about Understanding Child Support with the Help of a Sacramento-Area Divorce Lawyer
When a family unit breaks down and two partners are no longer on the same page, the most affected party is always the children. Children are too young to fend for themselves so certain laws have been put into place in order to ensure their welfare even when mom and dad are at odds with each other. Defining Child Support In simple terms, child support is a continuous scheduled payment made by [Read more...] about Understanding Child Support Laws of Sacramento County in California
Unfortunately, not all marriages last a lifetime, as differences between spouses may become irreconcilable. When a marriage is going south, one the options that a couple has is divorce. However, getting a divorce is a life changing event and should only be used as a last resort. Should You Get A Divorce? Before considering divorce, you have to realize that it is just one of the options, not [Read more...] about Tips from a Divorce Lawyer: How to Make Your Divorce Case A Success
In Sacramento County, terminating a marriage or partnership may be done in a number of ways. Sacramento divorce solutions include divorce, dissolution of domestic partnership, legal separation, and nullity. In a divorce case, the marriage is terminated and such matters as child custody, visitation rights, child support, and asset division, are also resolved. Dissolution of partnership is [Read more...] about Knowing The Different Details on How to File for Divorce in Sacramento
After a divorce/dissolution is complete, there are a number of extremely important financial housekeeping items that must be addressed. One of those items that often gets overlooked or put off is revising one’s estate planning documents. The following is a list of those documents and issues which must be addressed, post divorce to ensure that the individual and their family is protected from the [Read more...] about Post-Divorce Essential Estate Planning Checklist